Thursday, January 17, 2013

My Word for 2013

Thanks for all the sweet love on the "The Woman I Would Have Her Copy" post.  I had no idea so many people (men and women) had the same issues that I had.  So many people said that they needed to hear that so I'm happy that you were touched by it.

This is going to sound like it's going into two completely opposite directions, so bear with me.

I've been seeing people all over blogland name their word of the year.  If you're unfamiliar with the concept, it's a word that is your theme for the year.  Something to inspire you or something you want to accomplish...that sort of thing.  I thought long and hard but I really couldn't come up with anything.  No word or phrase struck me.  I couldn't think of anything I wanted to strive to attain.  I mean, I have goals, of course, but that's about as far as it went.

I told you this was going into two directions.  Stay the course, people!  I'm getting you there!  The other day, I asked for a recommendation from my Facebook friends for a local optometrist.  Our new insurance gave us several different options and those were totally different than the ones on our previous insurance.  Several people recommended this one optometrist in particular.  I had used her years ago.  I won't say how many but it was in my teen years.  I racked my brain for an opinion on her from that time and I couldn't come up with anything.  I realized that probably just meant that I hadn't had a bad experience with her.  The dentist who started pulling my tooth before I was totally numb?  His name I could tell you.  I could probably pick him out of a line-up, even though I was in junior high when that happened (I was one of those people who still had baby teeth in junior high--don't judge me!).  The point is that because I had a negative experience with him I remember him.

It's human nature, right?  I would imagine that most people probably have that same perception.  We remember the negative because it keeps us safe.  When you're a child and you touch the stove and it burns you, you remember the next time not to touch the stove because that hurt.  Then you notice all of the other hot things around you and realize that they will also burn you.  It's got to be a subconscious thing though.  I know I didn't purposefully hold back any positive feedback on this particular doctor.  Interesting, isn't it, how the mind works?

Forget my first statement.  We're diverging yet a third way.  Oops.  All of that "why do we remember the negative" introspection made me realize that I'm holding onto a lot of negative.  Why?  Because it keeps me safe.  If you don't completely trust, no one can break it.  If you don't completely love, no one can hurt you.  I could list more examples, but it would just be to say this.  We build walls to protect ourselves from the hurts of others.  I realized that I'm holding onto to hurts from 30 years ago, 20 years ago, 15 years ago, 5 years ago, etc.  I thought I had let most of that go, but I'm really just entrenching myself in those hurts.  I'm not really healed of those things.  I put up the walls and put it out of mind, but if you can recall those hurts, then it's taking up some of your heart space.  It's emotional clutter.  And I don't know about you, but I would prefer for my heart space to be filled with good things and those negative things are taking up some pretty valuable territory.

Roads are coming together.  I told you to just stay the course.  My word for 2013 is "Uncluttered".  I want to be uncluttered in my heart, my mind, my soul, and my home this year.  I know things will still be crazy, but the good kind of crazy.  I'm sure I'll post about it since pouring my heart out is ultimately pretty cathartic but also makes me feel like an awkward pre-teen on the first day of school.

I'll update again at the end of the year and let you know if I was successful in becoming uncluttered!



Anonymous said...

As I was reading things were popping up that have "cluttered my heart" and I realize I need to make amends with some or some simply give to the Lord (and NOT take back)!hank you for putting your heart out there again and again. Your thoughts are thoughts of many, and are very insightful to me and I hope to many others. said...

Thank you!