7 September 2022

That's Their Cup of Tea

"Other people's opinions of you are none of your business." ~ Robin S. Sharma

My great-grandmother was my bestie. I'd tell her that she was my best friend and she'd say, "You don't want an old woman for a best friend." But, I did and she was. My very best friend. And she gave the best advice, the kind of advice that can only come from a lifetime of experience.

Grandma used to say, "That's their cup of tea." And I always thought she was saying it wrong. She surely meant "It's not their cup of tea", right? No. She meant what she said. But, it was only as an adult that I understood.

That's their cup of tea. In other words, that's their business. They might feel some kind of way about you, but that's their burden. Other people's opinion of you is not your business, nor are you under any obligation to correct or cajole or otherwise edit yourself to be acceptable to their sensibilities. That's their cup of tea.

My girl child is learning this lesson right now. She's 11 and at that stage of life where she's still collecting stuffed animals, but also dealing with real life issues. Recently, a person she's been friends with for a while decided she doesn't want to be friends anymore. My girl is authentic and kind hearted and loyal and fierce. If she cares about you, she'd take a bullet for you. And she's hurt. Real, grown up hurt. And I am hurt for her.

So, if find yourself in this situation, let me tell you this:

That's their cup of tea. You do not owe anyone a carefully curated version of yourself or your life.

You are never going to be enough for some people. You won't ever be pretty enough or smart enough or wealthy enough.

You will always be too much for other people. You will always be too loud or too fat or too silly.

Those people? Those people who can't appreciate who you are? Sweetheart, those are not your people.

For your tribe, you will be the perfect combination of qualities. You will be the exact amount of enough.

Someone else's opinion of you is not your problem. Don't ever let someone steal your authenticity. That's their cup of tea.